3 Easy Ways to Create Successful Christmas Traditions

Christmas is about joy, peace and love. It's the one season where family takes the center stage so I never imagined how difficult it would be to create memorable family traditions.

I love Christmas with every cell in my body and often decorated my parents, work's and several of my own trees by the time Thanksgiving presented itself. And, I really wanted to share this passion by gathering my family around our fake pine tree every year to give it a magical makeover.

I imagined my cherubs with sparkling eyes, delighting in the keepsake ornaments and twinkling lights, perfectly behaved and dancing like sugar plum fairies in my dreams. However, in reality, the Grinch huffed in with the tree and set it up, grumbling about tangled lights. My angels didn't share my focus in getting the task done and lost interest quickly. Those first holiday seasons were often chaotic.

We did, however, experience Christmas magic as a family. With practice, everyone knew what to expect and soon we were looking forward to setting up the Christmas tree with anticipation. My kids often begged me not to take it down, wanting just one more week or day with our beloved holiday spruce. We even slept underneath its glowing lights one year after dressing it up, me on the loveseat, all cramped up by morning.

There were meltdowns. My daughter often got over excited and was even put to bed one year before the lighting of our tree, an unhappy moment for both my daughter and her mama.

 I also clearly remember my teenage son's snarky mood, making me want to put him on the naughty list and send him straight to the frozen tundra to chill out!

There has been magic and chaos, just like with everything in life. However, I have learned

3 important steps to help every family tradition take root in creating fond memories:

1) Create a consistent plan: For something to become a tradition, it needs to be done every year. Some years were definitely a struggle, but we always decorated the tree on the same weekend following the same routine. We lit a fire, played Christmas music and ate yummy food while we put up the tree with all four of us. For almost two decades, no one has missed the event.

The secret to success with lasting traditions is to make sure to choose your rituals wisely, with purpose and passion. The last thing we want to do is to expend all our energy on something that is no longer important in our life.

2) Focus on playful connection: The point of a tradition is to have fun. This is may be where I erred in the beginning, because I’m certain I acted a little bit more like a drill sergeant than a loving mama while decorating the tree with little kids.

Traditions shouldn’t be a chore and people‘s roles can change. Allow family members to do what they like. My husband definitely likes setting up the tree more than decorating it, and my son likes to direct and is six foot three now, doing an awesome job with placing the star on top of the tree.

All members of our family have started the fire at one point and love picking out the Christmas songs. And, of course, eating party treats is always a big hit. While I started out doing almost everything, the duties shifted over time. Now I am primarily the art director and caterer, with lots of talented help from my daughter as we transform our 35-year-old tree into a dazzling display.

3) Be flexible and don’t give up: The number one essential needed for lasting Christmas traditions is  that as parents, we can’t give up. Lasting traditions are not a "if I feel like it" kind of thing. Decide what you want for your family, and keep practicing to make it better every year. If you do this, memorable moments will be yours to treasure.

And, remember to allow for flexibility, meaning don’t let attitudes, growing pains or disinterest end a cherished family tradition. Everyone has bad days. While we want every family member to be engaged in the activity, how this happens will probably change over the years. Be sure to help others find their role in the activity, showcasing their strengths and interests.

As a parent, the more engaged, happy and receptive we are, the more our kids will follow our lead.

I remember during an extremely challenging year when the kids were teens, we actually went to the tree farm and cut down our own tree. This was a much needed change that really reconnected our family and made our tradition stronger the following year when we went back to our old routine.

So, don’t be afraid to add a little spice to your routine when necessary, but also don’t be afraid to keep it the same, especially if everyone enjoys what you're doing.

And just when I thought things couldn't get better, ready to embrace my sadness of memories long gone, thinking of the excitement of my little ones during Christmas, God surprised me. After 18 years of our little tradition, the last two have been priceless and the best ever with my adult children. Never could I have imagined that after two decades, these family rituals get sweeter with each passing year.

"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him."

Psalm: 127:3